The Preening of Severus Snape
by BondSlave
Summary: For three years Severus Snape has joined Dumbledore in his office, every Thursday evening for late night tea. But something's different this time, and Dumbledore can't figure out how long its been different, and why he hasn't seen it until now. Dumbledore/Severus. Romantic/Sexual Identity. Bottom!Snape. Virgin!Snape. First Time Hand Job. Budding romantic relationship.


He wasn't entirely sure when he began to notice, or in fact, when the behavior had even started; it wasn't overly obvious, and he was almost certain no one else had noticed, or even cared to pay attention to such things; but Albus noticed, and part of him wondered (even if fleetingly) if he was meant to.

The relationship between Severus Snape and Albus Dumbledore was an odd one; admitted by all. It had started on the shakiest of foundations, upon which Dumbledore could see nothing but a disgusting little boy who had made all of the wrong mistakes. But Severus quickly proved himself, even in the short two week span of working for the Order of the Phoenix before the Potter's tragic and untimely demise. He had proven himself intelligent, cunning, and loyal to a fault; but even so, Albus had not yet been so moved that he felt little qualms about manipulating the boy's willingness to serve.

Three years later however, and Albus could admit to himself, and anyone who bothered to ask, that he thought of Severus Snape as a friend; though the young man would no doubt be loath to accept this term.

Severus, at age twenty-four, was an extremely bitter young man; vicious, cold, with a temper that took a lot of self control to rein in most of the time. And even though he did not hesitate to voice his opinions or complaints, there was no denying the gratitude the young man felt, or the eagerness to prove that he was still loyal.

Dumbledore had wondered, for a short time, if it would be difficult to keep Severus under his thumb; it was surprisingly easy, and he wondered if perhaps, Severus was actually more willing to be manipulated than he let on.  
Dumbledore would admit, to no one but himself, which he now (only three years later) regretted the rather cruel use of Lily Potter against Severus; for it had indeed been a cruel thing to use against the broken young man. He tried to tell himself that it was worth his cruelty to keep the man alive, for he had so longed for death, but he knew that he was only lying to himself. He'd been terribly cruel to the boy, and even though he was in some ways, still being neglectful, he could say with certainty that he was in fact Severus's friend… or at least he was trying to be.

With the Wizarding World in peace, and no war to be fought (though Dumbledore did not doubt for a second that the war would not start up again), there was little ways for Severus to prove himself worthy of the gifts Albus had given him; freedom, sanctuary, security, and perhaps forgiveness. But that did not stop him from trying.  
Though he complained, Severus met up with Albus every Thursday evening for late night tea during the Hogwarts school year. Albus was fond of these little get togethers, and though Severus could think of a million things he could be doing elsewhere, he attended, drank his tea, declined the invitation to indulge in sweets, and proceeded to complain and gripe about the little brats running around the school.

Albus permitted the complaining, content enough in the fact that the young man had shown up at all, had accepted the tea, and looked to be in good health; Albus had worried about Severus's health during those early months, before Slughorn had properly retired, and Severus had officially joined the staff. He'd been so thin, so unhealthy, so mentally, and emotionally unwilling to put any effort into his own physical wellbeing. He no longer worried about that.  
He always kept an eye out for signs that the young man was neglecting himself, knowing how easy it would be to fall back into old habits, but thus far Severus had proven himself quite capable of remembering to at least have one solid meal a day. He did this, as Albus knew, to prove that he would do, and could do, whatever Albus requested of him.  
Since the war, Dumbledore's requests had been simple; 'Make sure you eat,', 'Be sure to drink enough water, Severus,', 'You will feel much more put together if you have a good scrub at least once a week.' Dumbledore had requested his potions master to be healthy and fit, and Severus obliged.

It was a Thursday evening, snow flurried past the windows in Albus's office, and a merry fire danced in the fireplace. Severus had, as he had for the past three years, arrived at eleven-o-clock sharp, accepted his tea (which he always took white), and began his usual complaints about the students. Though Albus was usually perfectly content to listen to the young man complain, he found himself, this night, to be rather distracted.

He wasn't sure when he'd noticed, or how long it had been going on, but there was something different about the charge sitting across from him, talking absently as he made animated gestures with his hand and sipped his tea.

Severus appeared as he usually did, pale and sallow skinned, his long lank black hair curtaining his narrow face, his dark eyes cast downward at his cup, brows only slightly furrowed as he recounted the issues of the day. He was dressed as he usually was, in his long black robes, and yet… Albus couldn't quite be rid the feeling that something was different.  
He let his blue gaze drift over the young man. What was it? What was different? What had caught his attention so suddenly? He let himself become utterly absorbed with examining the young man.

Perhaps, Severus's sallow skin looked a little more even, less shadowed. Perhaps his lips were a little less chapped. Perhaps the dark circles beneath his eyes were a little less puffy than usual. Perhaps his lanky hair was a little less twisted and frayed at the ends, mayhap it was a little more matte in color and less shiny. Perhaps the faint stains, small cuts, and discoloration had vanished from his slender hands.

And suddenly, it dawned on Albus, who found himself quite surprised and befuddled, as well as giddily excited. Severus, though the changes were very slight, hardly noticeable if one was not paying attention, had cleaned himself up for their late evening tea. Albus felt the jubilant feeling rise in his chest, and couldn't help a faint amused smile to tug at the corners of his mouth. What a silly boy! How long had he been doing this?

Severus, who'd looked up when he'd received no response to a rather colorful comment, frowned slightly at the look the headmaster was giving him. Lowering his teacup onto his lap he returned Albus's faint smile with a scowl ('Ah,' thought Albus, 'there is a look I recognize!').

"Albus, what the hell are you smiling at?" Snape snapped, clearly frustrated by Albus's lack of comment. Sure, Albus always listened to Severus complain, but he would usually comment, or put the boy in his place if he made a particularly nasty comment.

"You."  
"What?"  
"I'm smiling at you." Was the simple reply. Confusion gleamed in those dark eyes; dark eyes that so many mistook for black, when in reality, they were the darkest shade of brown, with tiny little flecks of a honey gold around the wide irises.

"Why the hell, are you smiling at me?" The tone, though aggressive did not fool Albus in the slightest; the young man was on the defensive, and did not like it at all.

"Oh Severus, how long?"

"What?"

"How long have you felt this way?"

"I can assure you headmaster, that I have no BLOODY idea what you're talking about!" Severus snapped, though he was brought up a bit short when Dumbledore was suddenly around his desk and standing in front of him; certainly a man his age shouldn't be able to move so fast.

"Silly boy," Albus said, a fond smile tugging at his lips, as twinkling blue eyes gazed over half-moon spectacles at the man seated before him. "My dear, foolish, silly, wonderfully clever Severus. You've been preening." The slightly admonishing praises, followed by the simple statement of fact had a remarkable effect on the young man; Severus gaped, and abruptly turned a very faint shade of pink.

"A-Albus," Severus's cheeks darkened slightly as his voice broke, no doubt absolutely furious with himself for stuttering, but Dumbledore thought it actually quite endearing; how many people could say that they could bring out such a side of the young man? No one else alive that was for sure. Gathering his wits about him, Severus set his tea cup aside and sat up straighter, determined to regain a margin of control; though he couldn't quite help balling his hands into fists upon his knees. "I don't know what you're implying, but you are quite mistaken—"

"I don't think I am," Albus interrupted, the younger man's jaw snapping shut as he did so. "You can't really help it can you?" And though Albus's smile had not faltered, he felt a certain sadness twist within him; reaching up, he gently brushed a few strands of hair behind the other man's ear, feeling the faint heat emanating from the flushed skin. "It is in your nature," He continued, his sad, fond smile only growing a little wider. "To fall in love with those who have seen your true self and counted it as something to value." He hummed to himself, gently cupping the other's cheek.

Severus seemed quite incapable of speech, let alone movement; he merely gazed wide eyed up at the older man, lips parted ever so slightly. What exactly were the emotions flashing subtly across that face? The face so few seemed to know how to read; though Albus could read it like an open book. Fear? Perhaps; but there was something else there too, and Albus was positive that he knew what it was… hope.

"How long have you been preening yourself before our meetings?" Albus mused. "How long did it take this foolish old man to notice?" Albus saw the faint twitch in the man's jaw and throat as he swallowed.

"I wasn't…" but the lie died on Severus's lips. Who was he kidding? Albus knew exactly how much he regarded himself, how much self-worth he had in store for himself; and it wasn't much. He wouldn't have even bothered taking care of himself even marginally if Albus hadn't requested him to do so.

"Silly boy," Albus sighed, leaning forward and pressing a very gentle and chaste kiss against the other's lips; 'hmmmn' Albus thought to himself, 'his lips really were less chapped.'

When Albus drew back, straightening up again, though still brushing his thumb against the other's smooth and hallow cheek, Severus merely stared, transfixed up at the older man.

"I…" Severus seemed to cast around for the right words; he wasn't very good at getting his point across, or articulating under circumstances such as these. "I just wanted to…" His gaze started darting around the room, looking at anything but Albus. What had he wanted to do? What was the point behind his actions? After a few seconds pause, his gaze returned to the older man's face, brown eyes meeting blue. "I wanted to show you that I'm trying." He managed to reply in a quiet whisper.

Albus understood, perhaps too well what Severus had been doing; Severus Snape had only fallen in love once before, with Lily Evans. The sweet, bright, charming girl who had seen more than a poor boy with a terrible home life; Severus loved Lily, and Albus had always known that, but his love was perhaps, different than what many would have guessed. Certainly Voldemort had misunderstood Severus's feelings, though there really was no way for a man such as Voldemort to understand. Severus hadn't desired her, in a mere physical carnal way. No, he'd desired her for who and what she really was. A strong, beautiful, powerful woman, who could see the true value in people; even people like Severus.

He'd often wondered why Severus had never confessed his feelings to Lily, so many things might have been different if he had… but he supposed that a young Severus Snape would not have known how; after all, how do you express a love that you yourself don't even fully understand?

Severus Snape was incapable of love in the most typical of terms. He did not draw sexual attraction from men or women, nor did he draw romantic feelings from men or women. His feelings of love, of romance, and perhaps even sex, were based solely on the relationship he formed with other people.

Severus hadn't loved Lily because she was a woman, or because she was very beautiful, he loved her because of the relationship they had shared; the mutual feelings of friendship, and care. Lily had been open with Severus, and cared for him, and loved him as a friend; and that's when the attraction began.

"Oh my dear," Albus sighed, brushing more strands of hair behind the younger man's ear. "I never doubted you."

Though the words seemed to boost Severus, the young man also drew (if somewhat reluctantly) away from Dumbledore's hand. He couldn't escape, stuck in his chair, with Albus taking up the space between him and the desk. Severus once again averted his gaze, staring instead at his own pale hands.

"I don't know why I feel this way." It hurt Albus to hear the strain in the other's voice, the confusion, and self loathing. "I know it isn't natural, disgusting," He spat.

"No its not." Albus stated firmly, perhaps a little more firmly than was necessary, causing the other man to jump slightly and look back up at him. "There is absolutely nothing wrong with the way you feel. There is nothing wrong with you, Severus, can't you see that? Love is not just black and white. It is not always about romance, or romantic feelings. Not always about sex, or sexual desire. It can be as simple as the twinge you feel when you hear of disasters happening to people on the other side of the world, or as complicated as—" Albus sighed again, seeing the confusion in the younger man's eyes. Clasping his hands before him, and leaning his weight against the desk behind him, he surveyed the young man for a moment. "Severus, do not let what you are feeling now, disturb or disgust you. What you feel now, doesn't make what you felt, feel, for Lily any less real."  
Severus flinched at his words, and Albus knew he'd hit the nail on the head. Severus was conflicted, not only because he still had not learned to understand his own feelings, but because he saw these new feelings as a betrayal to Lily's memory.

"My entire life there was only her," Severus managed to say, voice quiet, but gravely. "There was no one else. While other's went off on trysts, or went off and married, laughed about love, joked about sex, there was only her." He swallowed. "But I never saw her that way," He made a face, as though remembering some long forgotten taunt or joke he'd no doubt endured from his 'friends'. "I never wanted to sleep with her, I just wanted her in my life." He closed his eyes, the memory of losing her still fresh and painful, even after nine years. Clearing his throat, though his voice grew no stronger, he opened his eyes again, forcing himself to look up at the other man. "I never wanted to sleep around with anyone, never wanted to be close to anyone, not in the same sense as when I wanted to be close to her. But…" He shook his head slightly. "But now…."

"Severus," Albus couldn't help but smile, even though his own heart was twisting painfully in his chest as he gazed down at the poor damaged man before him; it was almost like looking into a mirror… almost.

"Please," Severus had reached forward, his fingers clasping gently over Albus's entwined fingers. He shook his head, no longer looking up at Albus, but the older man remained silent. "I… I expect nothing… require nothing… I just…" Severus swallowed, forcing the words out of his mouth felt as hard as pulling teeth. The words made him feel weak, pathetic, and God he wished he was back in his dungeons. He hated feeling this way, showing this side of himself to the other man's scrutiny. He had not forgotten the words Albus had said him atop the stormy hill three years ago. 'You disgust me.' He didn't think he'd ever forget, and he'd never forgive himself for acting in such a way that might drag those words from the other man again. "I'm sorry, Albus." He couldn't say anymore, couldn't bring himself to even try and translate his feelings into words, he barely understood them himself.

What were his feelings? Why did he feel this way? Why had he felt the need, for lack of a better term, preen for the other man? He'd stopped trying to make himself better or noteworthy to others when he was a child trying to get his parents attention. He knew that he wasn't worthy of love, or attention. He knew that he was far less than desirable.

"Severus, you seem to be under the impression that there would be no chance that I could return your feelings."

His gaze snapped up, and he quickly withdrew his hand as though burned, leaning back in his seat as though seeing the man for the first time.

"What?"

"Severus, I care very deeply for you. I have, over time, become very attached to you. It is not difficult for me to see, and understand your feelings, though perhaps it took longer than it should have for me to notice them."

"Please don't," Severus pleaded, and there was no masking the anguish on his face, or the slight quiver in his voice. "Albus… please…."

"Why are you so afraid of your feelings Severus?" Albus inquired calmly, shifting off of the desk and leaning forward towards the other man a little.

"I don't want to feel the pain again," was the quiet reply. "It nearly killed me Albus, please, don't make me go through that again."

And Albus understood. The loss of Lily had almost killed him, and even though the love was still there, the pain was still there also. He understood the young man's fear and reluctance now; it went beyond a mere misunderstanding of his own feelings and sexual identity.

"Severus, if it is at all within my power, I would never cause you pain such as that. Trust me Severus, I have no desire to see you like that again, I don't think my heart could take it." Not a lie, Albus knew that he could not bear to see Severus broken like that again, not now, not now that he'd come to care for the man.  
"I'm afraid," Severus admitted.

"I'm not surprised," Albus said, his fond but sad smile returning. "We are often frightened by our own feelings, especially when they are new to us." Straightening up slightly, he offered his hand. "But I am no stranger to feelings such as this, and I know the dangers that linger upon paths such as these." His smile brightened, though his heart stung at the thought of long lost love, and foolish mistakes. "Perhaps I can help guide us down this path safely." Perhaps. Albus liked to think that he was wiser now, when it came to his own heart.

Severus hesitated for a moment, before reaching up and grasping the other's hand, and permitting himself to be helped out of his chair. There was little room between chair and desk, and Severus found himself drawn flush up against the older man, his cheeks burning as he awkwardly shifted so that they were turned slightly and he could put some space between them, though their hands were still grasped. Albus chuckled, he couldn't help it; the look of flustered embarrassment on the usually brooding face of the younger man was too endearing.

"My dear Severus," He sighed good humouredly, stepping closer again so their clothes barely touched. "There is a question I have often pondered, and now cannot help but ask," He gently brushed the other's cheek with his free hand; once again able to feel the heat rising from the other's skin. "You mentioned that you had never felt the desire to seek out randy companionship like your friends," his smile only grew as the color rose in the other's cheeks ever so slightly. "I can't help but ask. Severus, is it perhaps possible that you're a virgin? In any sense which may pertain to your sexual body?"

The color had darkened so much in the other's face that it had turned his usually pale and sallow skin a light shade of crimson. His scowl was back, and though that was answer enough, Albus couldn't help but wait for a verbal reply; he certainly wouldn't be the one to break the silence that had fallen between them.

"So what if I am?" Severus spat, obviously insulted at the idea that him being a virgin was a bad thing. Albus let out a slight laugh, which he promptly attempted to rein in, as he squeezed the other's hand gently in his own.

"Just an old man's curiosity I assure you, Severus." Albus said, running his thumb across the other's bottom lip, trying to ease the frown into relaxing. "I think no less or more of you because of it." Part of Albus was not at all surprised; Severus was not, on the whole, attractive by social standards; and as a youth, as far as Albus could remember, had been even less so desirable… all awkward skinny limbs, and a bad attitude.

"I didn't want to." Severus stated simply, drawing Albus from his thoughts and back to the present. He hummed, and Severus repeated. "I didn't want to. Have sex. I could have," Severus continued. "I was given the opportunity a few times while at school. Even more after, powerful and wealthy friends have advantages." He shook his head dismissively. "I just never found the idea all that appealing."

"Understandable." Albus replied simply, without trace of judgment in his voice. "Though the desire wasn't there, were you ever curious?" He let his free hand slide down to cup the other's jaw and neck, pinky and ring finger dipping beneath the white color of his shirt to gently press against his pulse.

"Of course." Severus admitted, his gaze faltering for a moment before steadying again. "I could hear my dorm mates, when they'd explore themselves, and then later on, when they'd sneak girlfriends and boyfriends into the dorm. I sometimes wondered what drew them to it, sex. Wondered what they did, that would draw certain sounds from them, and why they reacted that way." He gave a shrug of his shoulders, his fingers tightening around Albus's marginally.

"Did you ever explore?" The question came off as innocent enough, but Albus couldn't quite escape the feeling of being a dirty old man, picturing a younger boy laying alone in the darkness of his dormitory while sounds of pleasure broke the quiet of nighttime. Severus closed his eyes, obviously to embarrassed by the intimacy of the question to hold Albus's gaze any longer. Leaning forward Severus pressed his forehead against the older man's shoulder, sighing heavily, fingers still tight in the other's hand. Dumbledore idly began massaging the nape of his neck, fingers tangling slightly in dark hair.

"No," the reply was so quiet Albus would have missed it if they hadn't been so close. "I thought about it, got as far as slipping my hand along my stomach, but never any farther than that."

"May I inquire as to why you hesitated to go further than that?" He was curious, but wouldn't have held it against the younger man if he chose not to answer. Severus remained quiet for a long moment, enjoying the feeling of the hand on the back of his neck, and the soft, warm fingers wrapped around his own slightly chilled digits; it was so nice to be touched like this. Just light, simple touches, intimate in their innocence; touches he'd never experienced before.

"I think I was afraid." Was his final answer. "Afraid that someone would hear, that there was some shame in the act, I don't know." He shook his head slightly, his cheek settling against the soft material of the other man's robe. "I guess after that I just ignored the impulse as best I could, distracted myself with other things." His voice sounded almost bitter against Albus's shoulder, and the older man added a little bit of pressure to the circular motions he was drawing at the base of the other's neck. "Maybe if I'd just given in I wouldn't have had time to make such stupid—" Albus lifted the other's head and cut him off with a kiss. There was no room for bitter emotions right now; not right now, when Severus was growing, learning, feeling, exploring himself emotionally. The kiss was gentle, but not nearly as chaste as the first, and when Albus withdrew he was pleased to find his Potions Master stunned into silence.

"Is there anything you want, Severus?" Albus inquired, once again running his thumb along the other's cheek. "Anything you wish to ask? Even if I do not have personal experience, I'm sure I could answer any question satisfactorily."

Severus seemed dazed, the question taking a minute to sink into his mind. He blinked, and frowned slightly.

"What do you—"

"Well, as the more experienced one I feel that I should offer you options. This is all, rather new for you." Albus stated baldly. Severus continued to frown at him for a second, dark eyes flickering back and forth between Albus's, no doubt searching for something, and answer to an unasked question.

"What does this mean, Albus?" Severus finally asked; he was unsure whether or not he dared hope. He'd had no expectations, no hope that Albus would ever return his feelings, or even notice them; he had been completely unprepared for the events that occurred this evening.

"I assume that you are asking what this thing between us means?" Albus smiled, lifting their clasped hands and looking at their entwined fingers fondly. "Well, I suppose it means that I would be very glad to return you feelings, though confused they maybe. I am more than willing to treat you as more than just a colleague, or a charge, but as an equal, perhaps a lover."

Severus felt himself flush, and intense heat spreading throughout his entire body followed by the coolness of the room; which he knew wasn't really that cool, they weren't so far from the fire after all.

"I…" he could feel his heart pounding madly against his ribs, he felt so unsure. But he felt nothing but comfort from the man before him, who'd refused to stop touching him, and in fact seemed very contented to do so. It was a strange intoxicating feeling; no one had ever wanted to touch him out of kindness before. "Perhaps we could move somewhere more comfortable," He suggested, clearing his throat to try and strengthen his voice, but will little success. "I find myself curious, about your theory," Severus found himself gently picking at a loose string on Albus's robe. "About me, I mean. That sexual desire had always taken a backseat to romantic feelings; feelings that had never been returned. I'm curious, to see if perhaps, maybe," his ears felt as though they were on fire, the blush that had risen to his cheeks was so strong; and his fingers had begun to twitched slightly in the other man's grasp. "a sexual desire might be kindled with you." His voice trailed away as he spoke, leaving a pregnant silence behind them. He felt very foolish and awkward. Would Dumbledore even want to touch him in that way? Yes he'd kissed him twice now, but the kisses hadn't been remotely sexual.  
Severus let out a soft gasp when Albus untangled their fingers and wrapped him in a hug, his hands pressed against his back as their bodies were pressed together. His stomach gave a slight twist, though not an uncomfortable one, as one of those hands fell to rest at the small of his back.

"I would be more than willing, and very honored, to test this theory with you, my dear boy." Albus tightened his embrace slightly before releasing the younger man, and once again taking his hand. "Shall we?" He rose a brow, and gestured towards the stairs, that lead to his personal quarters. Severus merely nodded, following in Dumbledore's wake.

Severus sat awkwardly on the edge of Dumbledore's bed, a modest queen feather mattress covered in a plush plum quilt that was probably older than he was. The older man was seated beside him, only a small space between them, not touching, not speaking, just sitting in patient silence. Severus wasn't sure what to do, part of his brain just told him to go for it, to just get it over with; but a smaller part of his brain told him that that wouldn't prove anything. He knew that he woke up hard most mornings, and could grow hard from physical stimulus, so direct touching wouldn't be ideal to explore this theory of his sexuality. He wanted to know if he could be brought to sexual arousal by Dumbledore without the man touching his crotch. He knew that it should be possible, in theory; he'd seen men become aroused by total strangers, but that had never worked for him.

"What—" He began, but Dumbledore reached forward and gently placed his hand over Severous's own.

"Perhaps it will be best if we don't talk anymore about this."

"But…"

"Severus, I know what you're curious to discover, and I think I have a plan of action, but what I need to know is if you trust me."  
Severus blinked and gazed at the other man as though he were insane.

"Of course I trust you!"

"Then no more talk," Albus reached up and gently rubbed the man's cheek with the back of his knuckles. "However, if you must tell me to stop for any reason, do not hesitate, I will stop without question." He assured, and Severus took a breath and nodded.

Albus shifted a little closer to the other man so that their knees were touching, and he captured the other's lips. He kissed the younger man gently for awhile, just the softest press of gentle lips. He let one hand rest on the other's side, the other bracing himself on the bed. He knew his goal; to arouse the other man without touching between his thighs, something he knew for a fact he could do if he were to focus his attentions elsewhere, but he also knew that that was not what Severus wanted. Severus's desire was actually quite innocently childish, and Albus admired him for it.

They continued to kiss, but Albus hesitated to deepen the kisses, or add more passion behind his actions; he did not want to trigger Severus's physical arousal by mere contact, but he also really enjoyed kissing those thin lips.

"Severus, lay back on the bed," he whispered, and was pleased that the young man didn't even hesitate, merely leaned back till he was laying on the bed, his feet still braced on the floor. Albus, who remained sitting, admired the younger man. He'd removed his black robes, as well as his boots and socks, leaving him in only his black pants, and shirt; he was still heavily guarded by clothes, but Albus couldn't help but think of how naked the young man appeared. How often had he seen his Potion Master in such a state of undress?

"Now, close your eyes Severus," There was only a second's hesitation before those dark eyes were lidded, and Albus muttered his praise at being listened too. "Now, I want you to relax, and clear your mind Severus, it shouldn't be so hard for you." He chuckled quietly, Severus was a very talented Occlumens, and the process of clearing his mind was practically second nature to him. "Is your mind clear?" A slight nod. "Good. Now, I want you to become aware of your body, first your breathing, then your heartbeat, good, now I want you to heighten your senses and focus on your sense of feel. Feel the press of your back against the mattress, the way your weight dips you into the material. Feel the texture of the bedspread beneath your hands; become aware of each stitch as it presses against the skin of your wrists and hands. Feel the groove of your legs, and the pressure of your feet against the floor. Feel the texture of the rug beneath your feet. Good." Albus gently reached forward and ran the pad of his index finger along the other's dark brow; Severus didn't move, though there was a faint twitch at the corners of his eyes, and a subtle flair of his nostrils. "Keep focused on your sense of feel, Severus, your sense of self. Don't lose the beat of your heart, or the rise and fall of your breathing. I want you entirely focused upon yourself, fully aware of your body. Nothing else matters. If you can't see it, and if you cannot feel it touching you, it does not exist in this moment, in this place. It is unimportant."

A long exhale fell from the dark haired man, his chest and stomach dipping slightly as all of the air left his lungs; Albus admired the slight slope from the man's ribs to his stomach for the moment it took for the boy to inhale again and his breathing to even out.

Albus moved his hand from Severus's brow and instead touched the man's wrist. He held the hand, turning it over so the palm faced the ceiling, and began drawing small circular patterns on the tender inside of the other's pale wrist; his nail dragging against the noticeable vein there.  
He could see the faint flicker of the other man's eyes beneath his eyelids, but there was no other movement. Perhaps if he leaned down and angled himself just so he would have been able to see the faint movement against the other's chest, where the beat of his heart showed through the skin and shirt; perhaps if the other's collar wasn't so high he would see the pulse in the other's neck.

"Can you hear me, Severus?" Albus asked quietly, gently, still drawing the circular pattern on the other's wrist. There was no response for a moment or so, but then Severus gently bent his ring and middle finger in reply; apparently not wishing to nod or speak, not wanting to break the trance he'd slipped into. "Good," Albus praised. "I wish that you could see yourself, Severus, you are quite lovely to behold." He saw the faint line appear between the young man's brows for just a split second before it disappeared again. "Your hair is spilled out against the plum cover like ink, and your skin looks as white as paraffin in contrast. Plum is a very good color for you, complimentary."  
Albus continued on like this for a long while, pointing out little things he noticed while surveying the younger man, from things like the lovely curve of his profile to the slight rise and fall of his chest.

Thought physical compliments were rather shallow in Albus's opinion, they still had the ability to stroke ones ego, and he couldn't help but wonder how Severus would feel about being praised for anything to do with his physical appearance. It was no secret that Severus found himself utterly unattractive or worth physical praise. So how must he feel when Albus points out the beautiful shadowed stretch of skin beneath his jaw? Or the perfect bowed peaks of his thin lips? Confused, perhaps, no doubt wondering if Albus was really teasing him; but Severus never spoke, or moved, or broke the trance in anyway. He merely continued to lay there, silent, breathing, and listening while the circles Albus was tracing on his inner wrist sent goosebumps up along his arms.

When Albus had exhausted praise on the younger man's physical appearance, he moved on to other aspects of the man; his intelligence, his cunning, his ability to turn a phrase, anything he could think of that was deserving of praise.

While he spoke, softly and gently, he became aware of a faint twitch in Snape's fingers; a subtle twitch, that Albus deemed to be unintentional. The spot where he'd been rubbing and drawing had turned a subtle shade of pink, and he was sure the skin was tender, but he did not stop, because he had not been asked to.  
The longer he spoke, the more ripples he began to notice spreading over the other man. The rapid twitch of eyes beneath eyelids; the slight movement as his jaw tensed. The noticeable shift of his throat as he swallowed; perhaps his throat had gone dry. His breathing had picked up a little as well, and Albus wondered if it was due to arousal, or annoyance. Certainly all of this praise would annoy the young man; the man who thought himself worthless and undesirable.

Deciding that he'd exhausted his patience for a short time, Albus leaned forward, his beard draping the man's shoulder as he leaned down. He let his left hand rest against the man's side, which twitched at the touch, as his lips brushed the other's ear ever so slightly.

"You are quite a lovely sight to behold, Severus," He whispered, his voice perhaps a little more ragged then it had been before. He had to admit, examining the young man before him without being able to touch him and explore him with his hands had stirred up a frustrated heat churning in his gut. "tempting smooth skin, so teasingly hidden by such heavy protection," he gently squeezed the other's side, and quivering breath escaped the man beneath him. Yes, he'd certainly exhausted most of his patients, but was glad that he'd gotten some response from the younger man, even if it was only slightly batted breath. "I feel very lucky to have been able to sit and take in your body draped over my bed to my heart's desire. I must admit, you are a very tempting man." He pressed his lips a little firmer against the other's ear, kissing it gently. "With you just lying there, peaceful, willing, the temptation to reach out and touch was a great one, and very hard to resist. It would have been so easy to reach out and caress your sides, grip your hips," heat flushed his own cheeks as he spoke, imagining the actions in his mind with great ease. "Delve between those thighs to explore the tempting treasures there."

Severus's lips parted, and a faint moan escaped him, impossible for Albus to miss from his position over the younger man. He felt Severus shift slightly against the bed, a seemingly unintentional movement.

"Please."

It took a moment for the word to register, and Albus lifted himself up a little so he could look down at the other man's face. Those thin lips were parted, and the crease between his dark brows had returned, but his eyes remained obediently closed. "Please, Albus."

The heat that had stirred in his own gut erupted into a swirling fire storm at the quiet plea. His aims had not fallen short as he feared that they might.  
Severus's eyes fluttered open, his pupils dilated, darkening his already dark eyes as their gazes met. He reached up, his trembling fingers closing over the hand Albus had rested against his side.

"Please." He repeated again, shifting against the bed again as he pushed at Albus's hand; he wasn't insisting, but requesting, assuring, giving his permission. Albus let his hand slide out from under the other's, move down and run his hand firmly against the front of the other's pants, where he was met with a hardness he had not entirely expected, but was very glad to feel. He let his fingers dip between the other's thighs, his hand firmly palming the full length of the trapped arousal before gently squeezing.  
Severus moaned again, quiet but breathy as his eyes shut again and his hips arched up against the hand palming him.

Albus was thrilled, and despite the fire burning inside himself, was more eager to pleasure the younger man than seek out his own pleasure. He'd felt pleasure before, but Severus, oh Severus was entirely new to pleasures of the flesh.

They'd moved higher on the bed, and at some point Severus had lost his shirt; he wasn't entirely sure when that had happened, his brain was a bit to foggy, and far too focused on the hands touching him; firm, but gentle, softened with age.

He squirmed a little when Albus would lean over him to kiss him, whether on the lips, or the cheek, or the forehead; the silver-white beard tickling against his stomach and ribs, not an unpleasant feeling.

Albus let his hands roam over the younger man's exposed chest, enjoying the feeling of the smooth skin. Severus had a few very faint scars here and there; from childhood injury and mischief Albus was sure, none of them looked severe enough to have been caused by anything else.

Severus's skin was just as pale beneath his shirt, and Albus wondered if Severus just simply had a thing against going out in the sun; not that he was complaining, he thought the peach color of his own skin made a lovely contrast against the paleness of the younger's flesh.

Running his hand up along the other's ribs, counting them as he did, he let the pad of his finger brush against an only slightly hardened nipple; this drew a slight hitch in the other's breathing, and Albus decided it was quite time to begin enjoying himself as well.

He began rubbing, and rolling the bud of flesh between his fingers, gently scraping a nail over the top as it peaked and pebbled into full hardness; the nipple flushed a rather lovely dark rose color, and Albus leaned down for a taste.

He swiped his tongue against the flesh, causing the younger man to gasp loudly. Albus couldn't restrain the faint smile before he pressed his lips over the erect peak and began sucking and licking.

Severus gasped, the sparks erupting from his chest new, and only increasing the swooping sensations in his stomach. He bit his lip to try and stifle the noises trying to escape his mouth, but they would build up in his throat until he was forced to release them in a low breathy moan or stuttering gasp. Albus continued to suckle on one nipple, his hand sliding up the other's side to begin teasing the other nipple, which had hardened immediately.

He pinched, and tweaked, running his nail over the flesh a little more firmly; he was thoroughly enjoying the gasping sounds the man beneath him was making, as well as the slight shift and arch of the other's back at the attention.

Sitting up, Albus began pinching the moist nipple he'd been sucking on, receiving a very feint almost indistinguishable whine from the younger man. He would have to admit it, even if only to himself, that he very much enjoyed the look of tortured pleasure on the man in his bed. For that's all he could see in the young man's face as he struggled to smother the noises he was making, as he struggled to keep what he was feeling in order. Severus was a young man who liked to keep himself in control, and Albus very much enjoyed watching the young man fall apart; though he liked this pleasured filled breakdown compared to the angry rages the young man often succumbed to.

While he continued to tease the other's nipples, going from one to the other, he let his free hand slide down the other's stomach to the front of his trousers; he easily undid the button and fly with one hand, pushing the folds open to expose the dark matt gray pants beneath. Sliding his fingers into the folds of the other's now opened fly, he began palming the heated flesh straining against the barrier he'd purposefully left.

Albus would have very much enjoyed taking the other in his hand, pumping, and rolling the flushed and madly pulsing flesh between his fingers, but he thought he didn't quite dare. Severus maybe well distracted between the stimulation of his nipples and his cock, but Albus didn't fool himself for a moment; if he did anything that Severus was not game for, everything would stop.

Severus was a lot like a stray mutt one might see on a busy city street, or so Albus had often compared him (secretly) to himself. A mutt who would follow you along the street but freeze and bare his teeth whenever you'd as much as look back at him. A mutt who would follow you home, and lie on your steps, and guard your grounds, but dart the moment you tried to approach. A mutt who only entered upon your home in hopes of shelter from a bad storm. A mutt who took an awful lot of convincing before it would permit you to touch it.  
One wrong move, and it would snap, bare its teeth and cringe away, eager to escape your touch, your presence, your house; even if only to go back and lie on the steps.

Severus rolled his hips up against the other's palm, heart careening around his rib cage, and lips and mouth going dry as he panted, and gasped; he couldn't seem to catch his breath no matter how deeply he inhaled. He was only vaguely aware that he may be holding his breath.

With more effort than he was sure it was worth, he leaned up and pushed the hand pinching his nipples aside; chest heaving, he forced himself as upright as he possibly could, biting his lip as the hand between his thighs pressed a little firmer against his trapped cock.

Albus was watching him silently, completely undeterred by his movements, and showing no signs that he intended to stop his ministrations unless otherwise told to. That was fine, Severus didn't care; he just couldn't lay there, hips bucking for a second longer.

"Are you al—"

"Shut up, Albus." Severus growled, leaning up and pressing his lips against the others, the white beard tickling his chin as he inexpertly kissed the other man. Albus didn't argue; though he did take control of the kiss, deepening it as best he could.

Severus shifted so that he was on his knees, Albus's free hand holding his hip in a firm stabling grip, which he was thankful for. He braced one hand on the other's shoulder, the other tangling in long straight white hair.

"May I?" Albus inquired, breaking the kiss for only a moment, his fingers gently pulling at the hemline of the other's pants. Severus merely mumbled his ascent before their lips were once more pressed together. With a steady hand, Albus pushed the other's pants and trousers down a bit, taking the younger man's throbbing cock into his hand at last.  
Severus's hips rolled slightly, as he ran his hand along the shaft, feeling the slight bump of the vein flushed and pushed out against the skin on the underside of the shaft. Severus felt decent sized in his hand, hard and hot; pre-cum leaking from the slit at the crown, and moistening his hand with each pass.  
Breaking the kiss, he leaned back a little, he was curious to see what the other man looked like, but the hand in his hair tightened and he was immediately drawn back to the other's lips.

"No, don't," Severus breathed, voice low and ragged against his lips. He hummed his understanding, reluctant though it was, and returned to ravaging the other's lips; if only he could ravage that mouth.

Going on touch alone, Albus continued to stroke and fondle the other's sex, determining by touch alone that Severus was not circumcised; a fact that brought a little bit of playful eagerness to mix in with the fire storm brewing in his gut. If this were to be the first of many encounters, Albus hoped that, given time, perhaps Severus would permit him to pay a little more attention to that hardened shaft.

Not that he minded merely pumping and stroking, because he did not. He enjoyed the sensation of hot slick skin pressed eagerly against his palm; it gave him some satisfaction to know that this arousal was for him, and only him. Coiling his fingers around the head, he gave a gentle twist of his hand, forcing a gasp to escape the other man, and giving Albus prime opportunity to plunge into the other's mouth; with gasps, and half smothered moans of surprise from the younger man, Albus happily hummed as he thoroughly ravaged his potion master's mouth.

Albus hadn't kissed someone so thoroughly in a long, long time; and he hoped that he would never kiss any other person again. He explored the other's mouth with his tongue; stroking soft inner cheeks, counting slightly crooked teeth, and teasingly enticing the other's tongue to do the same. Like with most things, Severus was a quick learner, and though it would take practice for him to become a good kisser, Albus didn't doubt that he would master kissing as he mastered everything else. The way his tongue would follow Albus's to try and explore the other's mouth was certainly promising; even if he did shy away a bit.

Severus let out a low groan, his hips rolling forward as Albus twisted his fingers around the head of his cock again, the heated flutter in his gut quickening. He whined slightly when the hand on his hip tightened and forced him to go still; a sound cut off as the kiss was deepened even further, giving him no options but to surrender his mouth completely to the other's ministrations.

Albus wrapped his fingers around the shaft just beneath the head and began pumping quickly. Normally, had he been given proper time to utterly worship the other's body, he would have schooled his rhythm to something similar to Severus's own; but since Severus neither masturbated, or gave him such opportunity to worship his cock, Albus simply went with a firm quick pace. Perhaps it was a bit to firm, or a bit too fast, it was hard to tell what the noises he was swallowing meant, but Severus didn't pull away so he didn't stop.

It was only when the other's hips began short pumping jerks into his hand that he broke their kiss; not that he had any time to regain his breath, for the mere state of his charge was enough to steal it away again.

A flush rose up from the other's breastbone, coloring his sweaty face in a completely debouched manner. His lips were pink, and swollen, his brows furrowed slightly in struggle. Albus could only imagine what the rest of him looked like, being respectful and not stealing a peak even though he so desperately wished to.  
He could imagine the muscles in the other's stomach and abdomen flexing and straining as his hips jerked slightly into his hand; pants and trousers messily shoved part way down the other's thighs; flushed, wet cock sliding in his hand on the verge of exploding.

"Aah," Severus gasped, eyes screwed shut as he bowed forward, pressing his face against Albus's shoulder. Albus picked up his pace, jerking the other's cock a little firmer than he probably ought to; but besides sharp gasps, Severus let out no complaint; merely tightened his tangled grip in his white hair, and against his shoulder.  
Severus was close, and Albus knew it. There was no more holding back the sounds flooding into the other's throat, no more holding twitching hips still. He lifted his hand from the other's hip bone to his side, fingers pressing into the warm skin there.

"It's alright," Albus whispered, breathless against the side of the other's head, lips catching on black hair slightly. Strangled gasps and painfully tightened grip was his only response. "Breathe, breathe," he reminded, causing the younger man to take deep breaths which only seemed to catch in his chest before being released in stuttering gasps and whines. "Don't hold back, don't fight it, it's alright," Albus added a slight twist of his hand with each pump, breaking the rhythm slightly; though he kept up the pace. A high pitched sound caught in the other's throat, his muscles tensing as his body went still; and still Albus continued pumping, and twisting, and jerking the hot flesh in his hand; he wouldn't stop until he'd pulled the other man over the edge and through orgasm, something he knew he wouldn't have long to wait for. "It's alright, let go, cum for me, love."  
Whether it was finally to much stimulation, or the words, Albus didn't know, but Severus went rigid in his arms, and let out a long strangled groan as his climax hit. Hips snapping forward jerkily as his cock throbbed and spasmed in Albus's hand, which he slowed only slightly as he felt hot seed squirt against his wrist and palm.  
"That's good, yes, very good," Albus praised, pressing a kiss to the side of the gasping and choking man in his grip. "good boy," he released the other's member and wrapped his arms around the viciously trembling figure, holding him close and firm as he gasped through the last waves of release. "Beautiful," he praised as he helped the other sit back, resting his weight on his thighs and ass. "beautiful, lovely boy," lifting the other's flushed face, he pressed a chaste kiss to the other's lips. "thank you," another kiss to his forehead. "thank you, for letting me do that."

Still trembling slightly, Severus frowned at Dumbledore, not exactly sure the other man should be thanking him for anything; let alone calling him 'beautiful', or 'lovely', or 'boy', but he didn't argue, didn't even bother; he didn't have the energy, and merely wrapped his arms loosely around the older man and pressed himself once again against the other's chest and shoulder, mumbling something quiet, and only slightly aggressive sounding against the other's robe.

Albus blinked surprised, running his clean hand up and down the other's spine as he held him, wondering if he'd heard what he thought he'd heard. He couldn't restrain the pleased smile as he soothed the exhausted man. It was well past two in the morning, and oddly enough, Albus wasn't tired at all.

"Rest here, dear heart," he spoke quietly into the room, the lights dimming as he easily rearranged himself and Severus against the bed covers. "and I shall see you in the morning." He sighed, keeping his arms draped over the other man, who hadn't heard a word of what he'd said; if the faint snoring was anything to go by.

* * *

Note:

Please forgive this twenty-one page travesty!  
I've been attracted to this ship for years, and years, but only just recently (like three months ago in fact) said 'fuck it' and gave in.  
I've read EVERY fic about these two on this site, and honestly there needs to be more. So, I decided to throw my two cents in.

Also, I apologize if it isn't clear, but Severus is Demiromantic/Demisexual. I always figured that in the wizarding world sexuality and gender identity wasn't as taboo as it is in muggle society; but also that they didn't really follow the terms and names for all of the different identities and genders because, well let's be honest, they stopped advancing after like 1600.  
So I tried to describe Severus's sexuality/identity without using the terms, which was not exactly easy. So, if it wasn't clear, that Severus can only feel romantic/sexual feelings towards people he's made an emotional connection/bond with, I'm sorry.


End file.
